[Repeat 1 'til end]
Started from this song...
When you love someone, you mostly will think of him/her everytime, althrough he/she have been hurted you before.....
Such a big questions like "How can i make him/her mine?", "Is he/she love me too?", "Is she/he just playing around with my feeling?", or "Will i have a chance to tell her/him that i love her/him?", that questions actually will flow around your mind.
Back to my story...
I have been told to you of my love story before, that end without any reasons...
Since i've told that, i have never been talk or chat with him.....Until he "call" me on my YM, did some formal chat as a friend...It repeated more than once, and in condition he "call" me, not i "call" him..... (i really have so many reason to do that)
Day by day gone, then i met him again..... At that day i was think, "this guy really don't love me (he just playing around with my feeling or i was too much hoping to what he do is a sign that he love me)... I will not hope anymore from him..."
Then, in the same day, there was a preparation for our college's exhibition. This exhibition is the last task / thesis task for the colleger, one of graduation's requipment. So we prepared each of our design's work to be displayed on the exhibition by ourselves.
When i have to prepared my own design's work with my friend, he came to give me and my friend some help. At that time, i didn't think anything, i just think what he do is just a manner, as we were a friend. Until the preparation finished and go back to home, i still didn't want to thinking what he do for me... Is it like a manner or something what ? I didn't care..
2 days after that, i came again to the exhibition's place, to remove the display from the board. Before i did it, i came to foodcourt and gather around with my friend...Not too long, he came to us with his friend and gather around us. When i started to ask him something, he looked like shocked and shame (some expression that i catch from his face), his eyes were sparkling and he was thinking a while without saying anything (it looks like 3 seconds), then he answer me with the word "huh? what?".
Like i said before, now i will just make he as my friend, not someone i love in past 7 years.
When the finishing of the exhibition begin, before i remove my display from the board, he asked me to take a photo (me and my display),after i did it i continued to remove my display, but what he do i didn't know (i think he maybe take some photos from the other then remove his own display). One thing that looked strange from him is bring a camera. Because in previous exhibition (or in his life since i get close to him as a friend), he NEVER bring a camera to take a photo. I went to think neutral, "maybe he want to take some photo from his display... and in the previous display (when i have to be one group with him) i was taking the exhibition's photo... So it was a common behaviour of him to take a photo."
When i told this to my friend,he was so angry and planned to "kill" him,hahahahhaha..... But actually it will never happenned, because i was stopped him to do that stupid action~ = b
He told me to not hoping about him anymore because it will be so painfull if i know that the boy is not mine, and so i did.
For real, he (my friend) have the same condition with me, but his condition was really sad if compared with my own story. He was being abandoned by his girlfriend who leave him 6 years and enganged with other man.
In the same night after i told my story to my friend, i was dreaming of him (that boy i love). He proposed me in front of my friends, and he was bring his father to propose me. But something strange that in my dream, his father was rejected his propose and get angry to him. Hahahha......Strange and weird dream ! (But actually i was hoping on that...then i realize, i'll never get it)
Back to the song.....
What i post in here was related to the song...
This song i heard in my way back home,after the finishing of the exhibition... It was really touched that this song was reflect my own feeling...
The lyric like "It came over me in a rush. When I realized that I love you so much. That sometimes I cry, but I cant tell you why. Why I feel what I feel inside" and "How I try to express what's been jugglin' my mind. But still can't find the words", then "You fill my soul with something I cannot explain. What's over me", really express my feeling about him.
I can't tell him anything about my feeling, then i didn't know his feeling about me until now.
That's must be so sad, but i try to forget it.
It's almost 3 days more to met him, and i was planned to give something to him. Maybe will not express my feeling, but express my thankfull for him...
Sad?
Just cry...:)
